I have a really hard time managing stress before it gets to my head. I start having a really hard time keeping my temper and just feel so on-edge. The smallest things make me flip and I dont feel any better unless I can hit something, which obviously isn't good.
A lot of the time I lose my appetite for a few days, which sucks, but it feels like Im force feeding myself and I can't do that.
Between my temper and appetite and constant headaches, I just feel like I have no control because I let things get to me. I feel really anxious all the time and it's killing me.
Stress is one of the major problem of modern generation. Most people are stressed. People are so much troubled of stress that want to avoid it all the time. They dream to live a stress free life.
The first point to understand is that stress is not really bad.
It may actually be good to have stress.
Let us take the example of string musical instrument like sitar or guitar. Its strings must be given the right amount of tension to create the right music.
- If the tension is the strings are too low, there would be no music in the instruments.
- If the tension in the string is too high, there would again be no music and the strings may even break.
Only when the tension is right on the string, the guitar/sitar plays a beautiful music that pleases to ears and touches your heart.
We need to have the right amount of stress in life to enjoy our life. If your life has no stress that means you have stopped taking challenges in your life and stopped growing to your full potential.
How Stress Benefit People?
If you see a movie star with a beautiful body with six pack abs, you immediately know that he must be doing a workout in the gym regularly and taking the proper diet. Please see the pictures of the top three movie stars of India in the picture (SRK, Salman and Amir)
No one can have such a perfect body accidentally without effort. When your body takes stress in the Gym by lifting weight, doing push-ups, running on the treadmill, you strengthen the muscles of your body to get into shape and develop better stamina.
When we take stress in our life, we strengthen ourselves physically, emotionally and intellectually. Only by taking the challenges of life, we can make ourselves ready to face the unforeseen situations almost effortlessly.
However, you do too much of workout, lift very heavy weights in order to expedite the body-building or you work out for long hours under the orders of your boss; you may harm your body instead of making it better.
Stress is harmful only if it is in excessive, beyond our abilities and become chronic.
Stress that is manageable and of short duration is good for us.
We can manage stress and use it for our advantage by following these steps.
1: Appreciate
You must learn to appreciate stress. For example, when there is stress in your job, appreciate that you have a job while millions of people are still looking for job. If you are given a challenging assignment by your boss, take this as an opportunity to prove yourself.
How unfortunate are those who have no jobs and no stress in their lives?
2: Anticipate
When you are joining a police department, you must know that you are going to deal with the criminals and wake up in the night. When you join any organization, you know what their working hours would be; and what are the challenges to be faced by you. You must anticipate the stress be mentally prepared for it. When you anticipate the stresses of your life, you are well prepared to face it.
3: Avoid
There are certain types of stresses, which may be avoided. If meeting certain people is the source of stress for you, avoid meeting such people, if you can. If certain types of TV programs make your tense, avoid watching such programs. If some type of jobs (like salesman) makes your tense, choose different types of professions, where you can manage stress.
4: Alter
Alter the method of dealing stress. Some people use negative methods like smoking, drinking, abusing, criticizing or taking drugs to deal with the stress. These techniques may provide instant relief but they have serious side effect. Instead you must develop good alternative habits to deal with stress which may include walking, playing games, yoga, meditation or prayer.
5: Plan
Some people, like your close relatives, bosses or subordinates, can’t be avoided. Stress is inevitable when you are dealing with people whose behaviour are unpredictable. When you are chasing a target and deadline, it is very difficult to avoid stress. However, if you plan well and develop a suitable strategy to meet the challenges, the stresses are much lower as they are spread over a longer period and you are mentally prepared for them.
6: Improve
If you have never run a race in your life, you may be exhausted after running 100 meters. However, if you keep practicing running for couple of months, you can even run a marathon. You must constantly improve your knowledge, skill and strength in order to develop the ability to take any type of challenges comfortably. Once your ability goes up, you can face even great challenges without undergoing any type of stress.
7: Eliminate
I once read in a book authored by a writer who was also a meditation instructor. There was a lady who used to attend the classes regularly and seemed to be stressed all the time. After a few weeks, the instructor asked her what the source of her stress is. She informed that she had a loan to pay and she is unable to pay it due to her limited income. The writer advised her not to come to the meditation classes for a few months. Instead, she must work two hours extra every day to earn extra income so that she can pay the loan within couple of month. The stress would be naturally taken care of when your remove the problem from its root.
You must eliminate the root cause of problems to solve the chronic stresses. If your stress is due to a difficult relationship or one sided love, you must eliminate the root cause to get freedom from such stress.
8: Unwind
Just like you need to take rest after heavy workout, you must also develop a systematic method to daily unwind the stress accumulated by your body, mind and soul. The following unwinding techniques may be useful.
- Music
- Reading
- Writing
- Connecting to your friends on social media and through friends
- Comedy programs, jokes etc.
Don’t allow stresses to be accumulated in yourself by unwinding them on daily basis.
9: Connect
As an individual, you have a limited capacity to withstand pressures and challenges of life. However, when you are united with your friends, family and relatives, your ability to face all types of challenges is multiplied several fold. You must, therefore, develop strong relationships so that you can share your joys and pains with them. There is a lot of truth in the dictum: ‘Joy shared is joy multiplied, while sorrow shared is sorrow divided’.
Learn to invest in relationships everyday so that you can reap rich dividend of love, affection and support in the time of your need.
10: Consult
When you are constantly stressed and you are not finding any way to solve your problems yourself, consult the people who have the ability to solve the problems of life easily. They can be your friends, relatives or family member or expert psychiatrists. Sometime people who have undergone through similar problem can suggest you methods, which does not occur to you in your natural course.
Manage your Stress
Don’t run away from stress. A stress free life is not worth living because that shows that you have stopped taking challenges in your life and hence you have virtually stopped living.
If your life is going stress free, accept newer challenges and scale new heights. Maintain the right amount of stress to lead a happy, successful and purposeful life.
Source : https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-learn-to-manage-stress-better/answer/Awdhesh-Singh-1
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